Could you give an example of how the capacity for playfulness can help us cope with crises-personal or global?

In the midst of a crisis, people who are willing to access play can experience the healing power of humor. I was debriefing a group of teachers 48 hours after the World Trade Center attacks. There were a lot of tears, pain and fear. At the end, I told everyone to go home and take care of themselves and to tell us how they were going to do this. There was a big burly guy in the group who drove a motorcycle and had tattoos. He said that the only thing that had helped him the night before was to get into a bubble bath and just sit there for a couple of hours. So I said to the group, "Tonight, if you're feeling really bad, just picture Jerry in a bubble bath." The laugh that followed was absolutely out of proportion to the joke-it was huge. People needed to let go -it was a purifying laugh. The joke gave them permission to feel alive again in that moment, because, when you laugh, you know you're alive. In spite of the tragedy, they allowed themselves to enter the playful mode.

If life is full of pain and suffering, there's not much we can do about the pain, but there's an alternative way to understand what's going on. To recover from tragedy, we need psychological distance and chronological distance. Humor both requires and provides the psychological distance.

Sometimes we just don't have the necessary distance to appreciate humor. Look at the different reactions people have to the movie Life is Beautiful . For some, it's disrespectful to link humor with the Holocaust. At first I couldn't understand why people felt that way, as my take is that the story isn't about the Holocaust; it's about the relationship between a father and his son. The father used play to shield his son from horror. It was a very purposeful use of humor. However, now I can well understand that someone who experienced the Holocaust could have trouble appreciating that movie because I, too, know what it's like to lose the capacity for humor. After 9/11, I had a similar experience. It took time for me to regain the playful mode.

Some people use humor to gain psychological distance in life threatening situations. I was giving a talk in Toronto and there was a doctor in the audience who uses humor a lot. He kept jumping up and sharing funny examples from his practice. I said, "So your patients feel better when you use humor?" He said, "On two separate occasions, patients who died mentioned in letters they had written just before their death what a wonderful doctor I was and how much fun I was." My response was, "I hope you aren't using that as a marketing device. Look at the patients who died who said what a good doctor I am!" The audience laughed, as did he.

The doctor gave another example of using humor to lighten anxiety. In a hospital he works in, kids are wheeled into the operating room sitting up on a gurney fitted out to look like a fire engine. The kids are thrilled, and the parents' anxiety is eased somewhat as they see their children's delight.

What do you have to say about inappropriate humor?

We practice "no hurt" humor. There's no cadaver-no body hurt. Jokes that are sexist, racist, ageist or any other kind of "ist" are not good. Make yourself the butt of the joke, if it's that kind of joke, or some entity that can't possibly be hurt. I would avoid sarcasm because it's risky unless you know your audience very well. Remember that humor can be seen as disrespectful.

How would you counteract hurtful humor?

I would try a direct approach first, "I find that offensive," or "I'd rather you didn't say that." Often humor can be very effective here. I was working in a law firm once. They were a pretty jocular group, indulging in some racist and sexist jokes. One of them said to me, "Now are you the kind of guy who thinks that all humor has to be politically correct?" I said, "Yes, but probably not for the reason you think. Not because it's insulting, not because it can hurt someone, not because it can be an indirect way for you to express anger, but because, if you do it, it could cost you millions of dollars!" That got their attention. They couldn't argue against me- and they also heard the real reasons why that kind of humor should never be used. I teach children to handle sarcasm with humor by responding only to the words of the message, not the tone in which it is delivered. "Hey, some shirt!" (in a sarcastic tone). "Oh, thanks." "But I wasn't saying it was nice!" "Oh, OK!" This approach confuses the sarcastic jokester. It's a kind of judo response. Instead of hitting back, you disarm.

Could you sum up the benefits of laughter-physical, emotional and spiritual?

There's research showing that laughter is physically good for you as it supports your immune system and helps control pain. It's also good psychologically, as it helps clarify your thinking and reduces anxiety and stress. One of the most important things humor does is force a shift in perspective. When you do these things that are good for you, joy has an easier time finding you.

When you're laughing, you're absolutely alive-truly in the moment. Laughter never occurs in retrospect-it's always NOW. The experience of laughter is physical, psychological and emotional. It's a full-brain experience. There's now research from PET scans suggesting that there's no one part of the brain that laughs; it is a whole-brain activity, though the processing of humor seems to be focused in the frontal lobe. When you laugh, the whole brain is going, and some call it a kind of vacation for the brain. It clears away the cobwebs.

Tell us a joke that encapsulates a piece of wisdom.

The great teacher was dying. All his students were lined up at his door. They stood in order, with the most brilliant at the top of the line and the dimmest at the bottom.

The most brilliant took the opportunity to ask a very important question, "Master, what is the meaning of life?" The teacher thought for a moment and said in a shaky voice, "Life is a river." Then he closed his eyes to sleep. The most brilliant student nodded his head knowingly and turned to the second most brilliant student and said, "The Master says that Life is a river." The second and then the third all repeated the Master's words, and so on all down the line. Finally the last student heard the words, "Life is a river." He stopped for a moment and asked, "What does he mean, 'Life is a river'?" This response was then passed back up the line until it got to the second most brilliant student. He asked the most brilliant student, "What does the Master mean, 'Life is a river'?" The most brilliant student woke up the teacher and asked, "Master, what do you mean, 'Life is a river'?" To this the Master replied, "OK, maybe it's not a river."



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